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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615135">Wish you were sober</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReindeerAntlersofDoom/pseuds/ReindeerAntlersofDoom'>ReindeerAntlersofDoom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Arguing, Bisexual Harley Keener, Drinking, F/M, F/M isn't really clearly stated but it is implied, Gay Peter Parker, I have two to thank this time!!, I love my Beta's!!!, I.e. It happened, Kinda?, M/M, Ned and MJ show up for a like a second, On Hiatus, Parties, Party, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter is just really upset, Swearing, Underage Drinking, anger issues?, it's an indefinite hiatus but yeah</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:14:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615135</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReindeerAntlersofDoom/pseuds/ReindeerAntlersofDoom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter and Harley are at a party together. All Peter wants is to leave but Harley wants to stay</p><p>Based loosely off of/ inspired by the song 'wish you were sober' by Conan Gray.</p><p>As of now, this story is on indefinite hiatus. I would like to come back to it at some point, but currently it just isn't in the cards.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Ned Leeds &amp; Peter Parker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. This party's shit, wish we could dip</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Howdy folks,</p><p>So I already stated it in the tags but this does have underage drinking. They are nineteen so it could be worse but it is still underage.</p><p>Thank you so much to my two betas CyberSleuthCat and F0reverl0st !!! They are both wonderful!!</p><p>Well, I think that wraps it up, last chance to ditch. I hope y'all enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything was becoming too much for Peter. The noises were too loud and the lights were flashing with every beat. It made Peter’s head and heart hurt. He was sitting in the kitchen of Flash’s house. It was a nice place and Peter was surprised that Flash had even allowed anybody to come over. If Peter were Flash, he would be so afraid someone would wreck something. Hell, it wasn’t even his house and he was scared someone would break something or they would break more than they already had. In the time that Peter had been there, he had already seen three broken vases, one flowerpot, 5 wineglasses, and the glass front of a cabinet.</p><p>    It was sad. Peter had been excited to come here to hang out with his friends and just have a good night but after some of Flash’s older sister’s friends had come over, it had spiraled so out of control.</p><p>    Now Peter was hiding in the kitchen, nursing a horrible headache and bitching about everything.</p><p>    Someone stumbled into the kitchen behind Peter. He whipped around almost pulling out his web-shooters only to see Ned and MJ. They looked incredibly annoyed, MJ especially.</p><p>    “Peter,” Ned said, “me and MJ are gonna head out. This is getting a little bit wild.”</p><p>    Peter nodded. God he wished he could just up and leave but he had to stay for Harley, “text me when you get home.”</p><p>    “You’re gonna stay?”</p><p>    “Just for a little bit longer,” Peter sighed.</p><p>    Ned shook his head, “I don’t like it, Peter but I can’t stop you.”</p><p>    He could feel the bass of the music vibrating his bones as he watched them walk away. God everything was just <em>so</em> <em>loud</em>. He wished he had never gone along, but what could he do now? When Flash had first said they were invited, Peter thought it was some sort of joke. But after being reassured that it was not a joke, he, Harley, Ned, and MJ, had all agreed to go. Now it was just him and Harley. And Peter didn’t even know where Harley was.</p><p>    He walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. The living room was by far the worst spot in the house. It was packed shoulder to shoulder with people. Alcohol and weed radiated so strongly, Peter thought he was going to pass out. A girl walked by him, waving a joint in front of his nose. Peter gagged. God, this was so disgusting. Why had he ever thought this was going to be a good idea?</p><p>    He spotted Harley across the room. He had a girl who Peter had never met curled up on one side and a boy on the other. He had a beer bottle in hand and his cheeks were flushed. Otherwise he looked the same as when they had arrived. Ripped jeans and a faded flannel with pins.</p><p>    Peter heaved a deep sigh. Of course. He walked over to them, shaking his head the whole way, cursing under his breath.</p><p>    “Goddamn boys.”</p><p>    Harley didn’t even notice him approaching. What an idiot.</p><p>    Before he knew it, he was standing in front of Harley, staring him down. But Harley was too out of it to pay attention.</p><p>    “Harley, I need to talk to you in the kitchen.”</p><p>    Harley looked up lazily, a smile creeped its way onto his face, not unlike the Cheshire cat.</p><p>    “Peter!” he exclaimed, “Peter, meet my new friends. This is Beth and Jared.”</p><p>    Beth nodded at him, taking a puff of her vape. Jared grinned. Neither were unattractive people and Peter could see why Harley was drawn to them, but he still didn’t get it.</p><p>    “Nice to meet you. Harley can I please talk to you for a moment? Privately.”</p><p>    Harley tried to stand up, using Peter as a support but when it became apparent that he couldn’t, he sat back down on the couch.</p><p>    “Whatever you can say you can say here.”</p><p>    Peter sighed, “Nope not gonna happen.” he grabbed a hold of Harley’s arm and practically lifted him off the couch and dragged him to the kitchen.</p><p>    “<em> Peter, </em>why did you do that?” Harley said, his voice slurring slightly. If Peter hadn’t had super-hearing, he probably wouldn’t have heard it.</p><p>    “What the <em>hell</em>?! Why do you think I did that? You are drunk Harley.” Peter released him arm and stormed to the fridge, where he grabbed a water bottle and tossed it at Harley, who fumbled to catch it, “drink that.”</p><p>    “I am very well aware Peter but that doesn’t give you permission to control me.” Harley scowled, taking a sip of the water.</p><p>    “You are underage!” Peter seethed, leaning against the counter, “You could get <em>arrested</em>.”</p><p>    “I’m nineteen!”</p><p>    “Still not 21, Harley. I think we should go. I am done with this party.”</p><p>    “Well I’m not, you can go but I’m staying.”</p><p>    Peter stared, incredulous. Where was his Harley? His Harley, who was kind and caring, who had gentle hands that seemed they could heal the world. His bright smile and the way his eyes crinkled when he was happy. This Harley was someone else filled with carelessness and false happiness, and<em> rage </em> , so much <em> rage </em>. Peter could see it in his eyes and it scared him.</p><p>    In his most vulnerable moments, Harley had talked about his father, his alcoholism, the way he would put down everybody in Harley’s family. His father would throw beer bottles across the garage. One thing that Harley would always say was that his father loved, he was so caring, but when he had a bottle in hand it would all disappear. Loving, proud words would twist on his tongue and become insults, hurled with the reckless abandon of a man who could not see anything beyond the bottom of a bottle.</p><p>    It scared Peter more than he would know to see the same look that Harley would talk about, reflected in his own eyes.</p><p>    Harley scoffed, “Why don’t you try to join in on the fun? It might help you a bit.”</p><p>    “What is that supposed to mean?” Peter was so done with this.</p><p>    Harley leaned forward, as if he was going to kiss Peter. He was so close that his nose was almost touching Peter’s. He let his eyes drift around Peter’s face, finally landing on his lips,“I mean there are so many more things that you could be doing rather than hiding,” then he backed off, gone as quickly as he came. Peter could feel heat rising in his cheeks. Goddammit. He smirked at Peter’s blush, “You know where to find me,” he finally said, going back to the living room.</p><p>    Peter strung a hand through his hair then shoved his face in his hands. He had no idea what to do with Harley. He never had any idea what to do.</p><p>    It was no secret that they both had feelings for each other. They both knew it, but they had never admitted it to each other and Peter wasn’t about to.</p><p>    Then Harley did shitty stuff like this and Peter <em>still</em> couldn’t help but love him. And he couldn’t figure out<em> why</em>. Every time he tried to bury these feelings down, they always resurfaced, every time even stronger than before. Eventually, he had just stopped trying. It upset him so much, that he couldn’t control this. God, He could not have a breakdown in the middle of Flash’s freakin' kitchen. He shoved away from the counter, feeling the urge to hit something. No, he needed to calm down. <em>Now.</em> No matter how much he just wanted to be Peter Parker and be able to be angry and scream and hit something, he was still Spider-Man<em>. </em>He still had his strength. He tried to remember what he was supposed to do at times like these.</p><p>    Find a calm space, breath, talk yourself down, do some grounding, breath, think about happy things, do some mindfulness. His mind was racing, he couldn’t process it all. He figured he would start small: <em> find a calm space. </em></p><p>He grabbed a water bottle and attempted to remember where the bathrooms were. There were two, one of which was upstairs which he could get to without having to go through the living room. He might hear some people going at it in a bedroom but anything was better than facing a very drunk Harley.</p><p>    He found the bathroom easily. It was not the most welcoming place, everything was a crisp white, and it looked like the only place that hadn’t been touched by the party. Like he had thought, he could hear people in the bedrooms but it was easy enough to block out. He splashed some cold water over his face, <em> not the place for an emotional breakdown Peter, you dumbass. </em></p><p> He sat on the counter and breathed, clenching his fists, focusing on how they felt. There was nothing else he could do. The music was more muffled up here, and the lights were normal. It was as good as he was going to get while he was here. Why was he still here? Was it for Harley? Was it for himself? Maybe it was some strange punishment that Peter inflicted upon himself. Or maybe, just maybe, he was holding out hope that Harley, <em> his </em>Harley, would come to him. That he would want to come home and they could spend the rest of the night watching movies and cuddling. Peter was surprised to find a lump in his throat. Peter loved Harley like the flowers loved the sun. But even the flowers couldn’t get too close or they would burn.</p><p>    Why did Peter do this to himself. It wasn’t even a question anymore.</p><p>    Everything was starting to calm down. His mind had stopped racing and his breathing was regular again when he heard more voices coming up the stairs but this time, it was a voice he recognized.</p><p>    Harley.</p><p>    <em> No </em>.</p><p>    Peter couldn’t do it, he just couldn’t. So he wouldn’t.</p><p>    He choked back a small sob. Sometimes he didn’t understand why. Why everything had led to this. Was there even anything at the end of the rainbow? Was it worth it? Some part of his heart Peter thought that it was, but deep down, it really didn’t feel like it.</p><p>    He unlocked the bathroom door, and pulled open the window. He took one last glance at the bathroom, except for water in the sink it was like he had never been there. He crawled out the window, feeling a warm breeze brush against his face.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Go anywhere but here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So like, I had this whole chapter written the day after I posted the first chapter and then I decided I didn't like the ending and I asked my beta and she agreed that it didn't fit, so I re-wrote it!</p><p>Thank you so much to my wonderful beta F0reverl0st !! I would be so lost without her.</p><p>Hope y'all enjoy!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter wasn’t able to focus on patrol that night. It had been over 4 hours since he left the party but his brain was always elsewhere and even he could recognize that he was being unnecessarily aggressive. He webbed up the robbers a little more tightly than usual. He hit the muggers hard enough that they went flying.</p><p>    It wasn’t healthy. He knew it wasn’t healthy. But he just couldn’t seem to stop. He tried to stay calm but every time his mind dragged itself back to Harley coming up those stairs. And without even thinking his punches became rougher.</p><p>    He had debated for a little bit on whether or not to call Tony. It would get Harley away from the party but it would also probably break any trust. Or maybe Harley would be happy and thank him after words? Probably not though. So Peter decided to just stay quiet.</p><p>    “What the fuck man?” a mugger groaned after being tossed into the wall, “Goddamn, I do have bones.”</p><p>    “Personally, I can’t really find it in my heart to give a shit right now. I’m not having a good night and you were trying to rob a helpless woman.”</p><p>    The man cursed and set his head against the wall, seemingly resigned to his fate.</p><p>    “Peter, I have a text from Harley. Would you like it projected on the screen?”</p><p>    Peter hesitated. He had left to avoid Harley, he had left because he couldn’t handle it. Was it worth it to bring that right back to him? He was about to tell Karen no when something made him pause. What if something was wrong? What is Harley was hurt? Peter could never forgive himself if something happened to Harley that could have been prevented but wasn’t because Peter was upset. It would break him. He was so gone for Harley. Even now, when he was upset and angry and ready to fight all because of Harley, he was still so ready to do anything for him.</p><p>    “Yes please, Karen.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> hI </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> so i don noww here i m </em>
</p><p> </p><p>    What? He didn’t know where he was? Peter was suddenly very glad he opened the text. He directed Karen what to type next.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Can you name any of your surroundings? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Buuildigns </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Wow, really helpful Harley. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> so fukcign sory </em>
</p><p> </p><p>God, he even texted drunk. Peter thought for a moment. Buildings was way too vague. He would never be able to find him. But didn’t Harley have a tracker on his phone?</p><p>    “Hey Karen, can you access the tracking device of Harley’s phone?”</p><p>    “I can do that Peter, would you like me to?”</p><p>    “yes,” Peter nodded, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.</p><p>    Then the thief spoke up, “Who the fuck you talking to kid,” he hardly even voiced it as a question.</p><p>    “None of your business,” Peter grimaced. He stopped, that man had heard Harley’s name. He couldn’t…. could he? He looked over at the man, all tied up against the wall. The man spat out a chunk of blood at Peter’s feet. In that moment, as he watched the blood spiral into a city drain, Peter made a decision. It wasn’t necessarily a good one, but it was the best one he had.</p><p>    He smacked the man across the face, knocking him out. The man went limp, the cursing had disappeared. Peter waited a moment, just to make sure nothing was abnormal. He felt kinda guilty, but he had to remain safe, he had to keep Harley safe. He doubted the man would remember any of this when he came to, but if he did hopefully he would believe it was all a dream. And if neither of those tings happened? Well, he would let Mr. Stark deal with it.</p><p>    “Karen, route me the quickest path to Harley.”</p><p>    A map of the city appeared along with a little red line. God Harley was an idiot. He had already wandered so far from Flash’s house. Peter swung through the city at record pace. He had to get to Harley quickly. He was in no shape to defend himself. He could get mugged or murdered. It was drastic, people were drunk all the time and most people tended to avoid them, but Peter wasn’t-couldn’t take that chance.   </p><p>    Peter watched the city blur under him. The lights became streaks in the dark and the little people became invisible. Swinging over the city at night was one of his favorite things to do. But under the context of the situation, it was very stressful.</p><p>    It didn’t take long for him to find Harley. He was stumbling a little, standing at the sidewalk. He was looking around at his surroundings, confused. That was very concerning. Harley had been in this part of the city so many times it was almost as familiar as Rose Hill to him. For Harley to not recognize that? Peter was not happy with that.</p><p>    “Harley?” Peter said, swinging down to ground level to meet the boy.</p><p>    Harley jumped a little, surprised by Peter.</p><p>    “Peter?” he whispered, or, tried to whisper. He was still quite loud. Peter was very thankful that this part of the street was rather empty.</p><p>    “Yep,”Peter grimaced, no thanks to his heightened senses, he could smell Harley from there. He smelt of alcohol and sex and drugs.</p><p>    Even though it made him cringe, he walked a little bit closer, close enough to actually see Harley’s face. He was in rough shape. The first thing Peter noticed was a faint black eye, his other eye was red, he had a pink smudge of lip-gloss on his chin. Overall, he was a verified wreck. It reminded Peter of all the conversations they had had when they were younger.</p><p>   </p><p>    <em> “I am never having alcohol,” Harley said, </em></p><p> <em> “You are only15. Isn’t that a bit young to decide that?” Peter said, wrapping his fluffy blanket tighter around him. </em></p><p> <em> Harley shook his head, “booze brings nothing but trouble.” </em></p><p>   </p><p>    What had gone so wrong?</p><p>    “’re you here t’ take me home?” as he talked it was quite apparent that he was less aggressive than he had been at the party, but he was still very out of it. His Tennessee accent had even come back.</p><p>    When he had first arrived in New York, Harley had quickly adopted as close to a New York accent as he could. His true accent was only heard when he was at home or when he was tired. Peter didn’t know <em> why </em> exactly he had done it. He suspected it was done in effort to fit in as best as possible. Peter knew from experience that the less you stood out the better.</p><p>    “Maybe,” Peter said. At least Harley hadn’t tried to drive home. Oh shit. Where was Harley’s car?    </p><p>    “Where is your car?”</p><p>    Harley swayed a bit, obviously confused at the question. “I don’t know.”</p><p>    Peter sighed, he didn’t really want to deal with this right now. Maybe he could just go find the car in the morning? He had gotten so close to being free of this tonight. He could have just ran, and ran and ran until he could run no more. Until he could become someone new. He could abandon this life, and have a life where Spider-man didn’t exist and there was no trauma for Peter Parker, mainly because he wouldn’t be Peter Parker. When someone brought up that name: ‘hey you look like Tony Stark’s intern’. he could laugh it off: ‘oh you have no idea how many times I have heard that!’. He could move to the west coast, maybe Oregon, Or better yet; Montana, there were very few people there. It could all just go away. This was very sudden and very dark, he shouldn’t be thinking like this over a minor inconvenience. He snapped back to reality with a start. Harley was just leaning against a building, looking at Peter with loose focus.</p><p>    There was no way Peter was going to go find the car. He highly doubted Harley would be able to walk home, and the last thing that Peter wanted to do was take public transport. That left one option.</p><p>    “If I carry you, can you hang on?” Peter was going to regret this.</p><p>    “mmm,” Harley hummed.</p><p>    “That wasn’t an answer.”</p><p>    Harley pushed off the wall and stumbled a bit then collapsed into Peter, who caught him by the waist. Peter sighed. He was such a wreck.</p><p>    “I c’n do’t,” Harley slurred. He wrapped his arms around Peter’s neck and rested his head on his shoulder.</p><p>    Peter looked at his friend, his heart was pounding. Harley was an affectionate person and still, every time he got close to him, Peter could feel his heart take over. Why was he so lost on this boy.</p><p>He strengthened his grip around Harley’s waist. He would have hold on tight to him. Peter knew he could do it, he had done it before. It just wasn’t ideal with a drunk Harley on his hands.</p><p>    “Thanks Peter,” Harley whispered, his warm breath tickled Peter’s ear and he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up.</p><p>    “It’s fine,” <em> was it? </em>“Get ready,” and before Peter could think too much about it, he swung into the air.</p><p>    Peter expertly swung around the buildings. It was a bit tougher with the added weight, but he was fine. The lights of New York city still shone bright, even late into the night. There was usually a certain serenity to the city that never slept. Maybe it was just because Peter had lived here his whole life, but the constant hum and drum of the city lulled him to sleep better than any lullaby.</p><p>    But it was different with Harley in his arms. There was something less serene and more vibrant. It made it harder to breath but the air was clearer. Peter wasn’t sure if he was even making sense anymore.</p><p>    Harley was clinging to him, and he could hear him breathing, his heart pounding, and the wind whipped his hair into Peter’s masked face. and for one moment, he was wrapped up in Harley. He could pretend that they were young again. Without the burdens of life, without the pain that comes with growing up and leaving behind the youthful innocence of childhood. Not that Peter’s or Harley’s childhoods where very innocent. They were wrought with tragedy and pain. But it was still the idea of letting go. And for that one moment, Peter could let go. He gripped Harley tighter. It wasn’t until the Keeners’ apartment came into view that he relaxed his grip. The calm he had felt drifting off.</p><p>    He set Harley on the balcony. All the lights were off inside, Abbie and Macy probably weren’t awake and if either of them were, it was Abbie who was likely on her computer.</p><p>    Harley stepped out of Peter’s grip. He leaned against the brick wall as he shoved the patio door open, covering it in fingerprints. He paused to look back at Peter, who was perched on the fire escape.</p><p>    “Thanks f’r dropping me off,” Harley mumbled. <em> That was it? </em> Harley had been so rude and had hurt Peter so much and all he got was a <em> thank you? </em>Oh Peter did not want to put up with this complete and utter bullshit. But he didn’t want to be so rude</p><p>    “It’s fine,” was all he said, the edges of the words clipped and sharp.</p><p>    Harley nodded and leaned farther into the apartment.</p><p>    “Iss ev’ryth’n okay?” Harley said, apparently not drunk enough to ignore Peter’s tone.</p><p>    “I really don’t think so,” Peter snapped, his whole body tense as if ready for a fight.</p><p>    Stepping out of the doorway and back onto the balcony, Harley scowled.</p><p>    “Can you’t least be h’nest wi’ me?”</p><p>    “Fine,” Peter snarled, Harley had already taken and taken and now he wanted honesty? When he couldn’t even give Peter a straight answer half the time? “You are being an asshole and I’m sick of it. I came out tonight to have a good time with you and you go and get hammered and take drugs. And then-<em> and then- </em>you taunt me with things you know you shouldn’t taunt me with. You can’t figure out your own feelings and you think you have the right to play with mine? Not gonna happen. Oh! And then! After you did that, you proceeded to screw another woman. And I’m just supposed to just pick you up like that’s okay? When you reek of partying? Screw you Keener.” <em>oh</em>, he hadn’t meant to say that.</p><p>    Harley’s face turned an unimaginable shade of red. “How dare you? How d’re you think this’s all abou’ you? I ‘ve a life ou’side of you Peter,” he was practically shouting, he would have to quiet down or he would walk Macy and Abbie.</p><p>    “Shut up! You're going to wake up your family!” He seethed.</p><p>    “See ‘f I care you stupid insecure shit-face,” it was the clearest words that had come out of his mouth all night.</p><p>    Peter was taken aback. He had always known that Harley had a mean side, a tongue that twist kind words into something horrid and nasty. He had gotten that from his father. But Peter never thought that he would be on the receiving end of that cruelty.</p><p>    And just like that, Peter snapped. He ripped off his mask, and pointed a firm finger at Harley’s chest, “You know what? No. I don’t care if you think I make things all about me, I watch out for myself unlike you. I take care of myself, not drink myself into oblivion because I can’t get over my daddy issues. So you can screw off to hell, because I don’t care what you think. I’m not the insecure one in this moment.” Oh no, he needed to shut up. <em> Now. </em>This was going to end in nothing but problems.</p><p>    “Oh Peter but that’s where you are wrong. You are so insecure anybody could notice. I noticed it the first time I met you. You are insecure because you don’t know your place in the world and you feel like such a failure and every single day you go out as Spider-man you hope it will make something better. Anything better. All because you want to find some revenge for your uncle. You live under the whims of a dead man Peter.”</p><p>    “At least I live under the whims of a dead man that was good, rather than an alive one that was a dead-beat dad.”</p><p>    There were tears prickling in Peter’s eyes now. More than anything he wished he hadn’t taken off his mask.</p><p>    “I don’t live under the whims of my dad, he was a complete asshole.”</p><p>    “So are you! You are literally turning into what you described him as! And you can’t even see it, <em> god </em>.”</p><p>    “Oh like you are any better, you can’t even see past yourself, someone could be struggling and you would just turn it around to talk about you. You and your Spider-man problems. That’s all I ever hear about. ‘hey Peter I feel like shit cause I accidentally insulted one of my friends.’ ‘oh that sucks Harley but there was this one time that I arrested somebody that was innocent. Guess we all make mistakes right? Why do you feel so bad?’ you can’t just let someone talk!”</p><p>    “I can’t listen to this right now. You are still drunk,”</p><p>    Harley tossed up his hands, “can’t talk when I’m sober, you don’t want to talk when I’m drunk, asshole,” he muttered, quiet enough that no one with normal hearing would have heard, but Peter didn’t have normal hearing. He heard everything Harley had said.</p><p>    “If you can’t talk about this sober, you shouldn’t talk about this drunk.”</p><p>    The balcony shook as Harley stomped across it, he hand on the handle of the door “I couldn’t give less of a shit about what you think Peter. You need to learn to mind your own business.”</p><p>    “Oh so first I don’t pay enough attention to you but now I pay too much?” This was all so stupid.</p><p>    “I don’t care if you pay attention to me, but if you aren’t going to pay attention to me you need to mind your own business. It isn’t rocket science.”</p><p>    “Yeah well I wish it were, rocket science is ten times easier than putting up with your bullshit.”</p><p>    Harley shoved the door open, “Then don’t. Fuck off, I don’t care anymore.”</p><p>    “Fine,” The vigilante snapped, tugging his mask back on, “Call Mr. Stark if you need anything because I can’t with you right now.”</p><p>    A small slamming noise sounded across the area as Harley shut the door, not even looking back at Peter.</p><p>    The second Harley was out of sight. Peter’s face screwed up, he had held back most of the tears but he didn’t know how much longer he could do it.</p><p>    He climbed to the roof of the apartment, once he was sure no one was around he pulled off his mask. Letting the emotions go. Tears streamed from his cheeks, his breath ragged from sobbing. What had they done? Was there any coming back from this? Tonight had been horrible, but this was on a whole nother level. He stayed on that roof for a very long time. Unsure of what to do, until the sun peeked up over the horizon and he had to go home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Don't take a hit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow, I was supposed to update this almost two month ago.... Oops?</p><p>This fic originally was based and inspired by the song 'Wish you were sober' by Conan Gray. It has since kinda drifted away from that story line and theme. Which I'm not sure anyone really cares but sometimes I just like to ramble about my story for shits and giggles, but anyways, here is the third chapter and I hope y'all enjoy! Feel free to tell me what you thought in the comments and have a wonderful rest of your day! &lt;3</p><p>Also, thank you so much to the people who looked over this! I appreciate you so much and y'all are great! thank you!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Looking back it wasn’t hard to see how everything had spiraled so far out of control. Harley hadn’t been in his right mind and Peter had already been frustrated. That was easy to tell, but what was harder to explain were the horrible things that had come out of their own mouths when they spoke. The sharp words that stabbed each other leaving them weak and sorry.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Why were those things even able to be said? What made them so close to the surface that all it took was one fight to unravel everything? And without a doubt it had unraveled everything. When he had gotten back home after the fight, all his notifications were all from Harley. They were scathing remarks on how Peter couldn’t handle anything. How he couldn’t handle criticism yet he dealt it like someone who had the thickest skin.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Peter hadn’t texted anything back, fearing what he would say if he did. He knew that if he typed back he would only fuel the fire. Harley hadn’t texted the rest of the night. After a long period of stress, Peter had seen no other option than to try for sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Part of Peter was hurt. More hurt than he knew what to do with. But the other part was different. It writhed in his heart, telling him that Harley deserved what he got, It was Harley’s fault after all. It was a constant battle between the two sides and Peter for all that he could do, felt like a bystander to his own feelings. But what could he do? His own thoughts were so dichotomous that he couldn’t tell which ones felt more strongly.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>All of this had cast even more doubt into Peter’s mind. He had always thought that he and Harley were the closest friends and they could handle anything that life threw at them. He didn’t think he had ever been more wrong. Or was he just being dramatic? After all, friends fought all the time didn’t they? Yeah of course they did. Maybe it would all be okay.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>A loud beeping noise came from his alarm, he groaned and tossed his hands in the air. As the memories of last night came cascading over him once more, he pulled his pillow onto his face and screamed into it, wishing this would all just go away. The last thing he wanted to do was face the repercussions of last night, though he doubted he had much of a choice.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Peter! Is that you?” his aunt called from somewhere in the apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>He tossed the pillow aside, finally smacking his alarm, “Yes, May! It’s just me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Great! I didn’t know how late you came back last night so I let you sleep. Which I think is a good thing cause it’s already noon!” May said, sounding way too chipper for Peter’s wallowing and ruminating, “I was making chicken for lunch but that didn’t work, do you mind if I just heat up a pizza?”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Peter groaned again. His phone dinged, the noise muffled by his blankets.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Alright! I’ll do that, also Harley is coming over in a bit,” she said, appearing in the doorway, she was already dressed for the day, which shouldn’t surprise Peter. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> said that it was already noon.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>This was news. His eyes snapped open. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span>. There was no way? Unless Harley was coming to yell at him.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“I suggest you get cleaned up, I know Harley has seen you in some pretty bad situations but that doesn’t mean you can’t look nicer.” she walked out of his room, “Maybe take a shower!”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>He was contemplating why this always happened to him when his phone dinged again. Dammit. Launching himself out of bed, he rustled through his sheets trying to find the offending phone. It had lodged itself in his sheets between the wall and his bed.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Turning it on he cringed. His screensaver was a photo of him and Harley. They were in Mr. Stark’s lab. Peter was wearing a part of the Iron Man helmet while Harley had the gauntlet. Peter remembered it like it was yesterday, Mr. Stark had had to go to a meeting, so he left the two boys by themselves in the lab wishing them good luck and telling them that if they broke anything he would be so pissed he would take away lab time. It was all an empty threat, Mr. Stark wouldn’t do something like that, he would likely just sigh and show the boys what they did wrong. Not that it mattered, because Harley and Peter were both so careful.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>They had been messing around with Peter’s spider-suit when Harley had accidentally found the code to open the cases for the Iron Man suits, in one of Mr. Stark’s desk drawers. Neither of them had hesitated in grabbing one of the suits and messing around. It had been one the happiest days Peter had had in a long time.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>It had been around that time that he had started to notice that he liked Harley as something more than a friend.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Peter’s phone dinged for the third time, drawing him out of his thoughts. It was Tony, texting him about coming to the lab later today. He rubbed his eyes, so it wasn’t Harley. He wasn’t ready to face him yet. Not that that would last for long if he was coming over.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Setting the phone back on his nightstand, he heaved a long sigh. If there was a way he could just take back everything that was said and done last night, he would. But wishing for some impossible miracle wasn’t going to do anything. He stretched his arms over his head and took a deep breath. He would figure this out eventually, but right now he just needed to wake up a bit and get ready to face his own consequence. He grabbed his clothes and made his way to the shower.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Peter sat at the table devouring his pizza. May sat across from him scrolling mindlessly through her phone. Occasionally she would glance up at him, squinting her eyes as if she was analyzing something beyond what the normal human could see. He wanted desperately to talk about what had happened last night, but that wasn’t an option with May. He couldn’t talk about how Harley had been drunk out of his damn mind, and how they had fought like enemies instead of friends. But who else could he talk to about it? Ned? No, he would rather not bring Ned into his stupid shit . Especially when Ned was already so done with how Harley sometimes treated Peter. Plus, as much as he loved Ned, he gave horrible relationship advice. MJ would be a better choice in everything relationship and fight wise, but she probably didn’t want to concern herself with such trivial things as the highs and lows of high school drama. And that left Tony, and he would rather crawl into a hole and die a painful death than bring this to Tony. ‘Hey sorry but ya know that one kid you introduced me to? Yeah I’ve got a crush on him and last night he was wasted beyond belief and kinda fucked someone else and then we fought about it and it kinda spiraled into other things.’ Yeah. Peter didn’t see that going over really well.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>A knock sounded at the door, snapping Peter out of his thoughts. Was this it?</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“That’s probably Harley, you wanna go grab the door Peter?” May asked, oblivious to the whirlwind going through her nephew’s thoughts. This could go so many ways Peter thought. They could end up fighting about it right here and now, they could accidentally reveal everything to May. They could make up. There were too many variables. He shoved away from the table.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>This was it.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Peter got up on shaky legs, terrified of what this could bring.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>He opened the door and to no surprise was Harley. He looked better than he did last night, he was dressed in jeans and t-shirt with a leather jacket over the top. There were still bags under his eyes, but his eyes were less bloodshot than they were. His black eye was still a little visible, but he had cleaned up nicely and looked presentable.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Hey Pete,” he gave a small tired smile, “How are you doin’?”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Okay,” he said, as that was all he could feel he could say without his voice cracking. He backed out the doorway, a silent invite for Harley to come in. This was too calm wasn’t it? Shouldn’t Harley be yelling right now?</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Harley!” Aunt May exclaimed, “It’s so good to see you!”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“You too May. How’ve you been?” he said, opening his arms to hug her.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>That felt more like the Harley Peter knew. He tried to shut the door as quietly as he could so as not to disrupt the chatter that May and Harley were creating.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“You want any pizza? Peter’s taken quite a bit but there’s still some left.” she said, looking at Harley curiously. No doubt taking in his disheveled appearance.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“That’s alright May, but thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>May nodded. “it’s nothing. So I’m assuming you want to talk with Peter?” she grabbed her phone, “and I’m going to assume you two don’t want me here, so the options are you two leave, or I leave. Any preference?”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Trust May to know something was wrong. Even when Peter did try to hide it, it still didn’t work.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Peter looked over at Harley out of his peripherals, Harley’s own eyes were fixed at the floor. Peter knew without a doubt that he was ashamed. Of what though he was unsure. Was he ashamed of how they had fought? That to May it was so obvious?</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“I, um, I can’t find my car after last night, so if Peter is okay with it, we could go?” Harley piped up. His voice was much more timid than normal. Any other day, he would charge ahead and make that choice without much of a thought.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Peter?” May asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Yeah, that’s fine with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Alright then you two, let’s move it,” she grabbed them each by the shoulder and gently nudged them toward the door, “keep your phone volume up so you hear when I call. Don’t be home too late.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Before they knew it, the door had shut with a soft thud that felt like the sealing of Peter’s fate, and they were standing awkwardly outside the apartment in the hallway.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Harley pressed his lips together, obviously uncomfortable. “I-” he started. Peter could only watch as he took a couple of deep breaths.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“I don’t remember what happened last night, but I was looking through the texts. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What happened?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Peter’s brain blanked. All this worrying and he didn’t even remember? This had to be some sort of dream. Could he tell Harley the truth? Would that even be the best thing to tell Harley? Keeping this a secret could have dangerous consequences. But it could save their friendship.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“That doesn’t really surprise me, you got pretty drunk last night.” Peter said, carefully weighing each word on his tongue before letting it leave his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Harley dragged a hand over his face, “Shit. I’m sorry man. Wait did I abandon you last night?”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Peter tried to let out a lighthearted laugh, but by the looks of Harley’s face it wasn’t entirely convincing. “Nah it’s fine, you did but I was ready to leave anyways.” it wasn’t completely untrue. Deep down he didn’t want to lie to Harley, but how was he supposed to explain what had happened? How was he supposed to knowingly destroy that?</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Still, I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>There was a long pause before either of them spoke. In it Peter could feel all the tension from the last few days. The anger from the fight writhing in the pits of their stomachs. The feelings that had built up over so long tensing and curling around their hearts, creating a barrier that neither could break.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“wait, how did I get home last night?” Harley asked.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Oh, I brought you home sometime last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Harley’s head snapped up, “You mean I abandoned you, and you still brought me home?” he asked incredulously.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“You were drunk off your ass Harley, wasn’t just about to let you go home by yourself. You texted me on a random street saying you didn’t know where you were.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>What was there to say to that. To have a friend tell you your own disappointing actions.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“You never answered my question.” Harley said.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Peter released a sigh, he had been trying to avoid answering that, but he apparently wasn’t doing a good enough job.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“We just got into a little fight last night. It was nothing serious, we were both just tired and irritated.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Some of the stuff that is in these texts are pretty serious Peter.” Harley argued.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Harley. It was just some stupid stuff. We were just upset and it’s not a big deal, people get upset all the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Harley stared Peter in the eye for the first time that day, and even though his face showed shame, his eyes were more confident. “Peter, I called you an insecure bitch who could go fuck himself because he never cared. I’m sorry, but I think we should talk about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Harley.” Peter couldn’t figure out a way to back out of this one.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Peter.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Peter grabbed his phone to check the time. “Listen, I know you want to talk about this, but can we at least walk while we do? I don’t want it to get too late.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“Yeah, we can walk. I-” Harley paused, he had taken one step toward the elevator. “You obviously don’t want to talk about this, but I’m sorry for anything I might have said last night. I don’t remember it but I don’t think it was a good night if the texts are anything to go by. So I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>“It’s alright Harley. It’s in the past.”</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>That was the end of the conversation. Peter made sure of that since he didn’t want to talk about it any more than he had to. Because the more he said the more chance he had of screwing something up. It would just have to do like this. Peter telling little lies through his teeth and hoping that is would be enough to save something.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>They entered the elevator. And after Peter had pressed the button, they each retreated to their own separate corner, too afraid to talk for fear of saying something to break the already fragile rope tying them together.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>The rest of the trip wasn’t much better. They walked in silence down the New York City street. It was the first time though, that Peter felt like the quietness between them needed to be filled. But he didn’t fill it. He didn’t even know what to say, and judging from the looks on Harley’s face he didn’t know either. The elevator opened and Peter stepped out, he would have to figure this out later. At this point, he didn’t see any other choice.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. An update</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The future of this fic.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So if I'm being honest, I don't really know where to start so this will be a mess of rambling.</p><p>It's been almost a year since some of the ideas for this fic started surfacing, a lot of the ideas for it were around before I had even heard the song 'Wish you were sober' by Conan Gray (which probably help plays into the fact that this story very quickly strayed from the idea of the song, but that's beside the point). Anyways, since it's coming up on the year mark, I've been putting a lot more thinking into this fic. I love this story, I really do, it was one of the first fanfictions I ever felt truly confident writing. I'm proud of myself for the work I put into this even if it's shitty (which yes in my as usual self deprecating opinion it is, but I accept that and I very much own up to the fact. Also I mean no offense if you like it, I just don't think my writing is very good lol). But either way I don't believe I can continue writing for it at this point in time.</p><p>If you don't know, this was meant to be a one shot, that obviously did not turn out that way, and the random extra chapters and ideas scattered around in my google docs can attest to the fact. But after I wrote the second chapter I found myself struggling to find the motivation to write the next chapter, and the next ones that still haven't even been published. Like I said before, I really do love this and I hope someday I can continue it (honestly I'd love to completely re-write it. Which if I do I'll definitely update this saying so), but as it stands it just isn't in the cards. Which is for a lot of reasons which I will not go into. So for the time being this fic is on indefinite hiatus. </p><p>I don't know exactly why I'm writing this seeing as in all reality I could just walk away into the sunset without ever looking back, but I hate leaving things unresolved.</p><p>Thank you for those of you who have read this fic and I'm sorry I currently cannot give it the ending it deserves. I hope you all have a marvelous day! Thank you so much! &lt;3</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed!!!</p><p>Also, If y'all enjoy Parkner you should join the Parkner Pals Discord server!</p><p>https://discord.gg/rJHdgXD</p></blockquote></div></div>
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